How to Feel Better.
It is challenging to be happy when your mind is filled with negative clutter.
I think that most of us would agree that what we all want most in life is to be happy.
We talk about happiness as something that happens or comes upon us. Majority of my clients will come to me, and they will say, “It wasn’t a happy day” or “I had an unhappy childhood” or “I just don’t have a happy life at all.”
Let’s dial this back and remind ourselves that such emotions, including happiness, are not something outside of us. Instead, let’s go back to basics and talk about exactly what it means to be happy and remind ourselves that it is entirely within our control. Happiness is not determined by who we married or who we didn’t or by how many kids we had or didn’t have, nor is it resolved by the car we drive or the house we live in.
All emotions, including happiness, are created in our mind. Instagram, Facebook, and Television would like you to believe that your feelings are really created outside of us by something that we purchase. If we buy a specific car or wear a particular brand of clothing, then we will be happy.
Recently our children referred to the new “sliders” shoes as the must-have new fashion accessory. I reminded them of last years ‘must haves,’ Adidas All-stars, or the year before Converse Boots. In that moment or 15-minute lecture from myself, I shared my beliefs of rebelling commercialism. It is a strong belief of mine NOT to follow crazes such as collectibles from Woolworths, Coles or McDonalds. Many of us are literally brainwashed by this idea believing that we have to chase something external, outside of us, to change the way we feel.
Advertising relies on you believing this, especially my weight-loss clients. Late-night TV advertising is selling the secret to happiness is thinness. All you have to do is buy, “these diet food products’ and “these exercise machines,’ and you will have a six pack which equals happiness. You will soon look like the 18-year-old girl model, who has no children if you just “try now” and “pay later.” Before you knock yourself up and call yourself stupid, I did it too. We were all hoping there was an easy answer.
Even when I’ve lost the weight and gone on crazy diets before when I was younger, I never found that secret happiness that was supposed to accompany that feeling. I have since learned that it is not true. I have many clients who are slender and still searching for happiness. I actually believe the times in my life that I had my “best body,” were my most unhappy years.
Really think about what it is you “think” you want to be happy. Will your goal bring you the rainbows and butterflies if you achieve it? Will you obtain the control that you are after? What I really want to teach you and what I really want to make sure you understand is the only reason why any of us want anything is because of how we believe we will feel in the attaining it. Whatever it is you want in your life, is because you think you will feel better for having it.
So let me remind you again.
Our thoughts create our feelings. These are the sentence that is on repeat in your head.
Our feelings create our actions.
Our actions create our results.
Massive action is what produces the results we want.
Let me remind you of the difference between passive and massive action. The learning that you are doing now by reading this blog is a passive action. You’re not creating any results in your life right now. Massive action is producing the results by implementing what you have learned into your life.
So how do you do this? Start drip feeding your brain daily with positivity through inspirational podcasts and audiobooks. Remove negative mind bleeds through poor choice in Television and music. Good feelings create good actions, which produce good results. Look at the results in your life and ask yourself. “What were the feelings that created those results? What were the actions or non-actions that created those results in my life?’
All the answers to happiness are right there inside of you. Sometimes we just need a little assistance in changing the channel.
Happiness is an inside job.
See you on the inside!
Coach Raylee